If you and your spouse have come to the difficult conclusion that you no longer want to be married, you undoubtedly want to dissolve your union in the most peaceful and positive manner possible. This is especially true if there are children involved, as you want to maintain a family identity and make it possible to be around your ex at family functions for years to come. The harsh reality is that you will always have ties with your ex, and so you must find a way to stay civil. An amicable divorce is one way to end your relationship with dignity and to help your children through this tough time. The following article may be able to help you, as it outlines a few tips for an amicable divorce, such as choosing a mediator or a divorce lawyer such as Carol N. Shapiro, Attorney at Law to guide you through this tough time.
Tips for an Amicable Divorce
Divorce does not have to be nasty and complicated. The bad feelings and negative attitudes formed during a nasty and vindictive divorce will last for years, and if you want to find a way to move on that is civil and dignified, an amicable divorce is the only way to do so. The following list may be able to help you, as it outlines a few tips for an amicable divorce.
- Amicable means both sides are civil and respectful: In an amicable divorce, both sides work together to ensure the best possible outcome for both spouses and the children. There is no fighting, but a respectful division of assets and determination of child support and custody. While you are no longer a couple and can choose to work entirely through your attorneys, there is no bickering or fighting over assets in an amicable divorce.
- Work through third parties if the relationship is abusive or particularly negative: While all divorced couples have a strained relationship (hence the desire for a divorce), if you find that your relationship is uncharacteristically negative and disturbing, such as with instances of abuse, you can still have an amicable divorce. Amicable divorces are not only easier on all participants, but they cost less money in court fees as there is less conflict. If you have a relationship with your ex that makes it a bad idea to be near them, it is possible to work entirely through third parties (while avoiding contact with your former spouse) and still have an amicable divorce. If your relationship is particularly antagonistic, you may want to work entirely through third parties in your case as well.
- Avoid negative talk: It is a known fact that negative thoughts and talk can cause you to feel depressed and upset. Avoid that kind of behavior, especially around your children.
- Hire a mediator: A mediator is a neutral third party to the divorce proceedings. While an attorney is still necessary to ensure your rights are protected, a mediator works for neither side, but works with both sides to ensure that the best interests of all parties are being met. Hiring a mediator is a great way to keep things civil and amicable, as they avoid all confrontation and negotiate difficulties skillfully.
- Choose an attorney that puts family first: There are many divorce attorneys out there, but you want to choose one that is experienced in handling divorces in which children are involved. You want a lawyer such as Carol N. Shapiro, Attorney at Law that is sensitive to the needs of not only her clients, but the needs of the children in the family as well.